i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
