I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
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