if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
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