Got a toothbrush?
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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