Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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