You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
third nipple confirmed
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Dick very happy bro
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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