Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
