im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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