First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
