I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
