so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
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I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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