Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
