People with herpes should wear stickers.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
