C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize