and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
love makes seman taste better
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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