I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
