just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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