Don't you send me to vm
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
