some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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