It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize