Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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