so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
