did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
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