why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
