I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
