I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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