i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize