I want to stick my p in your. b.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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