So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
