did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
