just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
