he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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