somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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