i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
