I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
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