You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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