hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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