she smelled like a LAN party
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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