She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
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