The police scanner is talking about you again....
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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