false alarm. still invincible.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
