Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
