I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize