she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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