She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
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did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
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