Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
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don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
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Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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