Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm always down for nudity.
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