Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
