do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize