She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
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