Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize