If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Randomize
