We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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