As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
where does the pee come out of this thing
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
