I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
