Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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