you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize