come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
foreskin is a definite game changer
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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